The Fool

From my daily tarot...
"The FoolThe Fool desires to achieve great things in life, but does not always anticipate the hard work required. Full of curiosity and searching for answers, the Fool symbolizes a new beginning and endless optimism. He must be careful in the decisions he makes, as his lack of experience is often a hindrance. While others may avoid taking on insurmountable odds, The Fool will attempt to accomplish near impossible goals with almost reckless abandon."

I'm thinking that I am just too sensitive. I walk around like a hermit crab who just crawled out of its shell. Everything feels rough. Everything can hurt you.

Someone told me recently that people our age who share raw emotion with other people so easily must be fools. No kidding. So I share the deepest things that happen in the hermit crab heart. Bright, real bright. I don't know why this happens. Sometimes my mouth is just running and my brain is chasing after yelling "Hey! Stop! Wait!" But that's the problem with being less-than-bright, my brain can't really sprint. So I lay out the whole miserable thing to whoever it is; the dental hygienist, the friendly old lady at the coffee shop, or just some poor unsuspecting friend who never meant to get into that much detail!

Poor people. They probably go home to their family and say "that sad sap, she just couldn't stop telling me all kinds of miserable details of her wretched heart".
Well, OK. But there are some little benefits to being so clearly raw emotionally all the time. People trust me. Instantly. And I am trustworthy. Lovely quiet women tell me their painful stories. And I always get the "I'm pregnant" or "I'm getting married" announcement way before the rest of the crowd.

And kids who can't trust anyone and really given their life story shouldn't trust anyone, trust me. And tell me. And then I can call the police. And I do.

And even a child with autism who isn't comfortable with new people ever, looks at me and says "Kari!" and takes my hand.

So maybe it's not all bad.

Let's have a support group for people of a certain age who are fools. And really in the end, don't mind.